Messy, Holy, Family

Holy Family; Colossians 3:12-21

Bear with one another;

forgive whatever grievances you have against one another,

forgive in the same way God has forgiven you.

I know I don’t have to tell you this, but families are messy. There is no such thing as a perfect family. When I was growing up, I thought that my family was darn near perfect. Well, except for my three siblings. As we all have grown older, however, we have experienced the tragedies, heartbreaks, and alienations that every family eventually faces. Even our immediate family has our share of imperfections. But she forgives me, and we get by.

My mother used to say that she had a hard time relating to the Blessed Mother. After all, she only had one kid and he was God. Yet if we take a hard look at the Holy Family, we can see that all was not perfect with them either. Right from the start, Mary had to explain to everyone why she was pregnant, but not yet married. And then, just before she gave birth, they went on a trip to Bethlehem, but “somebody” forgot to make a reservation at an Inn. Instead of being able to go home, the young family had to run for their lives from a paranoid king. Once they finally settled, they took another trip, this time to Jerusalem. And wouldn’t you know, the kid got lost.

The problems continued. We don’t know when or why, but Joseph died too soon, and Jesus, presumably took over the family business. But all of a sudden he decides that he’d rather be an itinerant preacher, left home and wandered about Galilee and Judea for three years. And then, as luck would have it, he got on the wrong side of the religious and political leaders and lost his life. His mother’s heart was broken, of course, but she spent the rest of her life telling as many people as she could just how wonderful her son, and her life, really was.

If that was all we knew of the life of Jesus, I doubt we would be celebrating much of anything. Fortunately, thanks to the stories in scripture, we know that, in fact, there was so much more to the life of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. And that is how life is for all of us.  If I am honest, the things that “stick out” of my story tends to be the lows. The many things I wish I could do over (or not do at all) are inclined to be the things that I ruminate on more than I should. The reality, of course, is that my life has been filled to overflowing with positive, wonderful things. The love I have experienced from that same family that has caused me so much frustration is what has been a source of constant encouragement and affection.

Joseph, Mary and Jesus also experienced great love from family and friends. I’d like to think that there was a lot of love in their home. And I don’t mean that in a deep theological “God-Is-Love” sense. No, I mean it in the simple basic way that mothers love sons and brothers love sisters and husbands love wives. And the only way love can work, I believe, is with a lot of forgiveness.

Isn’t it wonderful that God is love and from that love flows unstoppable forgiveness. The only thing more wonderful than that, is that all of that love and forgiveness is ours to have freely. And all I have to do to receive it is to open myself up to realize that all that love is within me to begin with. The love that is God is within each person because we are each made in the image of God.

Every person I meet on the street, in a store, at a gas station, or around the dinner table is the face of God. They are love and I have the opportunity to accept that love and forgiveness each time I am with them. It is true that families are messy, but it is in that messiness, that we find the holiness.

Every Day.

© 2025 by Timothy J. Doppel

All Rights Reserved