If I Only Knew Then

20th Sunday of Ordinary Time

John 6:51-58

August 18, 2024

There is a movie that came out in 1980 called The Final Countdown. It’s a story of a modern US nuclear aircraft carrier being transported back to December 6, 1941. Yup, Pearl Harbor day. (At this point, you are either rolling your eyes, or really intrigued. Hang with me.) The officers of the modern-day ship have to decide whether or not to use their F-14’s to prevent the horror of the Pearl Harbor attack from happening and, thereby, changing history. I won’t spoil the entire movie, but one of the officers gets left behind when the carrier zips back to modern time. When the carrier docks at their base in modern Pearl Harbor, the officer, who is now old and gray, meets the crew. Because of his knowledge of what was to come over the forty years since that fateful day, he has become immensely wealthy.

Recalling that movie has caused me to think about all the possibilities of what my life could have been, had I known what was coming. Now, let me say this, right off – I have no regrets about how my life has evolved. Looking back, there is nothing significant that I would change. But, in a fun way, maybe I would have made an investment here or there or purchased a ticket to a particular concert or ballgame.

However, there is a negative side to knowing the future too. Would I have gotten into business for myself had I known how difficult and stressful it would be? And even if I had, would I have made some of the same choices that I did, had I known the outcome? Would I have raised my children the way I did or would I have made different choices along the way. Would I have treated my wife differently and never found 101 ways to be good to her? Hindsight, as they say, is 20-20. Overall, I am content with my choices. The one thing I definitely would have changed is that I would only have made the same mistake twice before learning from it, instead of the five or six times that I did.

This weekend’s readings gives me the opportunity to make some changes in my life to prevent difficulties in the future. In the first reading from Proverbs, we hear the voice of Wisdom preparing a table of rich foods and drink and inviting us all to partake and gain understanding. And what is this “understanding” that Lady Wisdom is inviting the people of Israel to? Why, none other than the understanding of God’s love and mercy, of course.

Sometimes I catch myself thinking that before Jesus, there was only a vengeful God. How wrong that is. God has never been vengeful. Let me repeat that. God has never been vengeful. And God is not vengeful today. God is all loving. Always has been and always will be. Jesus came to live among us to try and get humanity to, once and for all, understand that very simple point. The reading from Proverbs was written at least 700 years before Jesus. And before that, the traditions of the Jewish people, and all good and righteous people, spoke of a loving God. And here we are 2,000 years after Jesus, and society still hasn’t figured it out.

I need to take the time, every day actually, to reflect on the invitation to “understand” this gift from God. If I really could go back in time, if I only knew then, I’d like to think that one change I’d definitely make is that I would be kinder to everyone I met along the way. In my youth, I really didn’t understand that what Jesus was teaching me, was that love is easy, if I but gave it a chance. I need to let go of being right all the time. It’s okay if I don’t have all the answers for every situation. There is nothing wrong with not having the very best toys.

The "understanding" that Wisdom (the Holy Spirit) offers, is this: God loves me beyond measure and, in gratitude, I choose to love God in return, love myself, and everyone else as well.

Every Day.