Table Settings

Second Sunday of Ordinary Time; John 2: 1-11

Once upon a time, I was a co-leader of a Men’s Prayer Breakfast group. We would meet monthly for a catered breakfast and a speaker. We’d have songs and prayer. It was well received by the men, drew a pretty good crowd, and lasted a good long time.

One time, she walked through the room on her way to another meeting. She was aghast. The tables had no tablecloths. There were no centerpieces on the tables. The handouts were stacked on one table for the guys to pick up as they walked in. The breakfast consisted of scrambled eggs, potatoes, bacon, sausage and toast. A small pitcher of orange juice was off to the side and the coffee urns were going full tilt. Frankly, I was confused by her consternation.

Apparently, when the ladies have their gatherings, the tables are carefully prepared and decorated. Each place setting had a gift, handouts, and a flower at each place. The meal included muffins, croissants, a variety of breakfast choices, coffee and tea, as well as a variety of juices. And water. Candles were lit on each table and the room lights were dimmed. Greeters were stationed at the doors.

My attempts at explaining to her that guys really didn’t need all that fluff fell on deaf ears. Clearly, to her, presentation as everything. I told her that’s why we don’t invite women to our gatherings. I am happy to report that the resulting bruises healed rather quickly.

In today’s Gospel, we hear Mary instruct her son to do something about the lack of wine at a wedding. Jesus’ response was classic son to mother retort: “What’s that got to do with me?” And then he obeyed his mother. And the party was saved.

As I reflect on this familiar reading, it occurs to me that it’s not just about hospitality. Mary recognized a need and responded to it. It does not matter that the need was for more wine, the point is that she was aware of what was going on around her and she didn’t hesitate to go to the one she knew could help.

Mary went and asked Jesus to help the situation. I have to be willing to do likewise. First of all, I have to be aware of what is going on around me. As I talk to people, do I hear what is going on in their lives? So often, happy faces are covering up hurt and pain. I need to be more attuned to what is being said beyond the words. And then I have an opportunity to respond to their real needs. A simple follow up question is sometimes all it takes for them to open up and reveal their actual concern. I may not be qualified to fix their problems, but I have found that, in many cases, just being able to talk about it can be soothing for the person.

Our men’s breakfast satisfied the needs of the guys just fine. But it would have been a non-starter for the ladies. Likewise, most of the guys would have been uncomfortable if we had a flower at each place setting. It’s all about knowing the needs of the people I am serving. And being aware of how people are reacting to the environment. St. Paul wrote to the Corinthians that “there is a variety of ministries, but we serve the same [God].” (1COR 2:4)

I know my gift is not decorating a room for a party. But I do know what I can do to serve God and God’s people. And so, I strive to be aware and do my tasks as well as I possibly can.

Every Day.

© 2025 by Timothy J. Doppel

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